Rhythm

So we've found this new rhythm in our home.  We've (Grant and I) divvied up responsibilities, figured out who is better at feeding a fussy baby, know who is better to deal with a tantruming toddler...we have our jobs as a couple and we work it now.  We are freed from the chaotic, panicky feelings we experienced for weeks and weeks and now we can relax and enjoy our routine as we just soak in the babies.  We are dancing away to this new rhythm!  

Both kiddos are just exploding with change.  Baby Girl now says five different words and mimics many, many others.  She is standing on her own for brief periods of time and loves pushing her walker around.  I stopped counting Little Man's words at 60 (yes, 60!!!) because I realized that this number will only continue to grow and grow and grow.  He is such a little love now.  He loves to give kisses and take care of his sister.  He's doing wonderfully.  They both are.

As I write this, Grant is mowing the lawn and I sit in bed in my pajamas.  This is much like the days of old before the kids came to stay here.  We're experiencing this because the kids are with their family back in their hometown this weekend.  Because of the parents progress, they've been granted a trial overnight visitation.  Should you have asked me how I would feel about this about a month ago, I'd have teared up at the idea- in elation and disbelief over the idea of the kids' parents doing so well!  Now, them not being here makes me tear up in a different way.  My sole responsibility for the last two months has revolved around their safety and happiness- passing them off to ANYONE (even their own family) feels unnatural.  

We had the chance to meet the kids' grandmother yesterday.  She picked them up and took them home to see their parents.  I'm not sure how many times she thanked us for caring for the kids during our fifteen minute visit, but she made it clear that she and the kids' parents are grateful for the care we are giving.  This was a gift from the Father.  The look of humility and gratitude on her face are exactly how I imagine my face would look should I be thanking someone for caring for one of my beloved.  It was just the perspective I've needed.  I needed a reminder that we are but facilitators of God's much BIGGER plan.  We get the gift of loving on these babies- and we get to give the gift of time to their parents as they get their crap together and put their lives back on track.  We know they are both working hard and succeeding, and for that we thank God daily.

If this visit "goes successfully" (not sure how that is measured!) the kids will have weekend visits on a more regular basis.  This too, I think will be a gift.  The kids will have a chance to ease back into feeling a sense of familiarity with life back in their hometown.  This is by design so that when they do go home, it isn't such a drastic change.  Additionally, Grant and I will be able to begin to imagine life with them back at home.  The thought is excruciatingly painful.  We're in love with them!  We love every inch of their chubby selves-and the idea of them leaving us just shatters us both.  But as my wise husband prayed the other night as he was asking for comfort for the kids' Mommy and Daddy, we will only feel a fraction of what they much be feeling every day.  We know the day will come but try not to dwell on it.

So yes, we've found a new sort of rhythm, but it seems that it's the beat of a short song. We'll just have to dance it out now while it's playing and put our trust in the Lord about what we'll do when it ends- cause who wants to miss out on a messy, awesome, hilarious, beautiful dance?