A Momma's Heart

When I was a kid, I can remember being unbelievably frustrated at the task of putting sheets onto a bed.  I had to learn somehow, but it was a thousand times more maddening to put sheets onto a bed than it was to sweep or wash dishes or fold clothes or any other task I was given to learn and to do.*  My sister, Amy was always my hero in this department.  Still today I possess vivid pictures in my memory of her shooing my crumpled, crying body off of the mattress, taking the sheets from me, straightening them out and then...WHOOSH!  With one graceful shake, Amy would envelop my mattress in a cottony, Mickey Mouse-clad covering.  I'd think, "She's going to be such a good mom."  

My benchmark of good mothering has evolved slightly since those early days (P.S. I must be a prophet or something because I was right about my sister), but I'm still mindful of women who seem to take on domestic chores effortlessly and seem to do them with such finesse-almost instinctively.  

As we near the point of being an available home for children in foster care or in need of a permanent home, I think about these things a lot-those millions of tasks that moms can somehow juggle and complete.  Since I'm entering into motherhood without the aid of the hormonal changes a pregnant woman experiences, will those instincts kick in?  I've heard many new mother say, "...and I somehow just magically knew what to do.  I guess it was my mother's instinct!"  Will I have that?  

A dear friend of mine who is eight and a half months pregnant has been sharing her experiences with me.  She talks about getting winded, the kicking, the indigestion, her change in shape and size and, as she calls it "baby brain."  During a recent conversation,  she went into detail over her baby brain and I caught myself tearing up.  She spoke of daydreaming about her child all day at work, making room in her home in every nook and cabinet, wondering when he'll arrive-and I thought, "So THAT's what it called!"  

I'm confident that just as any new mother feels overwhelmed, confused and at times completely unsure about what to do, I will too.  But tonight, I can happily announce, that once again, our God is so faithful.  I prayed for the heart of a parent, and He's delivered.  My ankles may not be swollen and I don't have heartburn, but I dream about the face(s) in my care and those who will become Mankins one day.  Our house has never been so organized or free of clutter.  And this evening, as I put fresh sheets on our bed...WHOOSH.  The top sheet landed perfectly over the mattress.  Perfectly.  I'm tucking that away as a nudge from my precious, almighty Father.  I imagine Him nodding at me and saying, "I've got you.  I'll give you what you need.  I'll even grace you with the silly things you've thought about for years."

Thanks to Him, I think I just might be joining the ranks.



*My mom was a stay-at-home mother, a domestic engineer and a ridiculously good one.  She did it all and then taught us to read, exemplified the importance of volunteering in one's community and imparted huge spiritual truths.  I was not a child slave-she just knew I'd learn best by being given a chore and some direction and then being cut loose.