I'm not sure exactly how I pictured the start of my adulthood, but I can guarantee that I had it wrong. My version probably had me living in a cul de sac with a big important job and millions of friends and perfect hair. There is NOTHING wrong with any of these things (Not in my opinion, but I know that my opinion doesn't matter, and for all I know God may really abhor cul de sacs.) but they are a far cry from life now.
Grant and I have a ginormous blessing of a home, but it's not like the one in my imagination. In fact it's BETTER! It is older and more cozy than the one in my head. The trees in the yard are much bigger too! My job is not big or important, but we are blessed financially and we are able to pay our bills on time-unless I occasionally neglect to pay my phone bill and then there is a $3.50 late fee. I so need to grow up some more. We do not have a million friends. But we DO have a family at church who looks after us and accepts who we are and respects us. As if God hadn't heaped enough goodness into my lap, I have friends here who know and love the Lord and choose to see my through His eyes. They laugh with me, listen to me when I cry, and gently correct me when I screw up, as I often do. They remind me about my job on this earth, to be a servant and to be a friend to the friendless.
And as if THAT wasn't enough goodness, my husband loves me unbelievably well. He remembers little things, like the kind of gum I like, and picks up a pack on his way home from work. And he waits for me when I try on clothes. He will even, when asked nicely, recount the first time he saw me, which he remembers down to the outfit I had on. He forgives me for my meanness (Which happens more often than I'd like to admit.) and the thoughtless words I shoot out at him. He holds his tongue and waits patiently for a calm. And on the days I'm not being ugly, he loves me the same! The difference is that I'm more able to appreciate him and the love that he generously gives to me. We laugh together-oh my goodness do we LAUGH! Sometimes we laugh so hard that we fall down on the couch and just smile at one another and soak up the goodness.
And to add to all of that goodness, my Lord loves me even more, and even better than my wonderful husband (which is hard for me to imagine.). He calls me His bride. He looks for ways throughout my day to romance me and to show me how precious I am to him. He allows me to catch the funny things that happen outside of my drab cubicle, just so I can laugh and enjoy it with Him. He lulls me to sleep at night and reminds me through His Word that, "I am with you all the time, Vanessa, and I can't wait to bring you home to me, where we can be together and travel and sing and dance forever." And even after, when I'm asleep, He gives me dreams about my brother and my sisters and my dog and my parents and all of the people in my life whom I hold so dear. He is relentless!
What I never thought was that my life could exceed my imagination. I never thought that the goodness in my world could go anywhere beyond all I dream about. What I am learning, is that with my God, the goodness keeps coming.
Now as for the perfect hair that I'd imagined....let me just give you a visual of what my hair looks like now. This doesn't alter in my mind that God is good :)
"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:17-21
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